Feelings of failure
Dealing with a hostile ex
Worries about children being manipulated
New living situations
Mourning and loss
What many people don’t understand about divorce is that it is like a death, but worse.
The person you believed was going to be your “soul mate,” with whom you would share a home, a life, children and pets, with whom you shared special jokes and memories…
... the person you thought you would grow old with…
... that person is gone.
In his/her place is someone who is angry, hurt, combative or withdrawn.
Things that used to make sense suddenly are confusing. You find yourself feeling constantly mad and suspicious, always having to prepare for the next battle around scheduling, children and finances.
In many situations, an ex is sharing too much information with children about the details of the marriage or demanding they take sides. Concerns about how to talk to children come up constantly.
Friendships can dissolve or become divided. Feeling isolated is common.
There are new worries as well about basic living. You may need to secure new housing and new furnishings. Finances can become overwhelming. Schedules change and routines are disrupted. New rules need to be made.
Everything that once was familiar is now gone. Holidays become something to negotiate ... birthdays to split between households.
Divorce also brings up feelings of failure, regret and loss. There are fears about moving forward and dating again, especially for people who have been married for a long time.
Therapy can support and guide people through this difficult time in their lives.
Having a place to grieve as well as problem solve is useful in forming a secure emotional foundation for someone who has a lot of important decisions to make. Maintaining hope in the face of the unknown is also really important.
If you are struggling with the feelings and problems surrounding divorce, I'd like to help.
Abigail Blackburn, PsyD
617 . 686 . 2420